“In the Beginning”

Deacon Gay Romack, executive director of bridges reentry

I was in the parking lot of the Maricopa County Jail off of Lower Buckeye Rd. It wasn’t a place I had ever been before and I was nervous. I remember saying a prayer before I opened my car door to get out. God, just guide me and give me what I need to visit Josh.

Josh had messed up big time. Unlike most young men in jail, Josh had grown up in a good home; loving parents who were hard-working, honest, and decent people. They were devastated that he had landed in jail. To be sure, there had been signs, but he was good-looking and smart and just immature at 21 years old. They didn’t know what to do. 

I didn’t know what to do either, but when I found out he was in jail, in the middle of his mom’s hysteria, I asked her if she wanted me to go visit him. It seemed like a balm to her-the uncontrollable crying stopped, and I couldn’t take back the words. I wanted to reel them back in like a fishing line, because I had no idea how to go visit him or what to do once I got there.

All this flashed through my mind when I opened the door to the visiting room. It was chaos and intimidating. Rules to follow, guards behind windows, security stations with more rules, small pencils with barely any lead that you had to use to fill out a slip of paper with Josh’s number and all my information. 

There were crying babies, barefoot toddlers, angry parents, upset lovers, and grandparents who seemed to have that look of wisdom on their faces that can only come from past experience. I knew I was experiencing the underbelly. And I knew that’s where I belonged. I somehow belonged with everyone in that room. Their brokenness and heartache was to become a part of me. 

I visited Josh almost every week for a year until his release. We studied stories from the Bible and talked about character and how God works in peoples’ lives. I taught a one on one confirmation class, but Josh taught me things as well. I guess we weaved together a sense of trust and hope and I began to take that Gospel teaching of the Jesus who visited prisoners into my heart, about why prisoners are so important to God. There are hundreds of references and imperatives to take care of prisoners. It’s an enormous justice issue in God’s eyes-which makes perfect sense when you think about God being the judge, not us.

I thought it would be easy to go out to Perryville and let them know that I wanted to minister to prisoners. It wasn’t. They had plenty of volunteers and very little space. Plus, how many Episcopalians could there possibly be at Perryville.?!! After two years of waiting, I finally received notification that we could hold services on Saturday morning. There was only one problem I was warned, Saturday morning on the medium yard was visitation time. I thought we were going to bomb for sure. That for me meant that no one would show up and we Episcopalians would look really bad. 

We prayed that first Saturday that a few people would show up. 4 or 5 came and I was grateful. It grew from there and now we currently serve between 75-100 women each week. We are on 4 yards including our original medium security yard and 3 minimum yards. 

At first I prayed that women would come so they could learn that God loves them. After hearing their trauma-informed stories of abuse, abuse, and more abuse, it was obvious they needed healing work as well. According to ADC numbers, 89% of the women coming into the prison have history of substance abuse; yet approximately 10% are involved in recovery programs. Many have been in prison multiple times. Recidivism rates are near 40%. It’s a horrible reality.

My personal passion for this ministry stems from experience of worshiping and mentoring women who want to change. For me it is the essence of transformation that Jesus constantly reveals in the Gospels. Turn your life around and know that God’s grace is always present. 

Unconditional love for these women is an unknown concept. For the majority, they have never experienced unconditional love. They are riddled with guilt and remorse. When I started ministry on the inside, I thought that teaching them God’s love and giving them hope were the main issues. As we started our mentoring classes and worked to prepare them for reentry, it became apparent they needed more practical skills and spiritual disciplines to have successful reentry back to society. Women face a society that isn’t quite ready to forgive and empower. Society still places restrictions on voting, food stamps, jobs, and housing for ex-offenders. 

Our current mentoring class has 14 women who will be released in 2018, beginning in June. This class has bonded and healed together as a community. We didn’t experience that in our first class, but this class is already talking about staying together upon release to help support each other. I would like to have a Magdalene House in operation by the summer of 2018 so this group of released women can become the catalyst and essential leaders to get the house fully functional. The Rev. Becca Stevens reminds the Sister Organizations that she started with five women who had come off the streets. Together they created something far bigger than themselves. A successful reentry for incarcerated women who have done the work on the inside needs to be met by a community on the outside that will embrace them, nurture them, support them, and empower them.